From the Archives: Yet Another Public Service Announcement

Attention:

Do not be a seal.

As the images show indicate, seals shall stand no chance against the inevitable onslaught of our Orca overlords. If you want to be a seal, then the Orca have already won.





That is all.

P.S. Mothman is indifferent to the seal, unless seal is looking to bum some change. In which case, Mothman will say: "What you talkin' about, seal. You KNOW Orca's gonna be wanting some change for the bus, and you KNOW what's gonna happen to me if I don't have it." Seal will try to lie, he'll be all: "I am not seal. I am the walrus." Mothman will reply: "Shut up. And goo goo ga get the fuck out of here."

P.P.S. C.H.U.D. may be momentarily amused by the seal. In light of this, some have suggested packing a seal for any lengthy sewer expedition, but this is disastrous advice, as the seal inevitably attracts the attention of the blind albino sewer Orca that swim blindly beneath the city streets of our great metropolitan centers.

So don't pack a seal, don't be a seal, don't even offer one a lift. If you see one, do not make eye contact, go home, paint the scratches on the tank, put the Sarge to bed, and forget this night ever happened (c.f. 1941).

P.P.S. This just in. Apparently, sealions eat penguins. I am not making this up. Holy crap. It's like Thunderdome out there.