Public Service Announcement: Watch Out For...

... THE DEVIL BUNNY!


Sure, he looks cute ...


... but he's nosing around ...


... looking for a fresh soul ...


... to nibble on ...


... you may be next!


He's the Devil Bunny ...


... cute as a button ...


... a button from Hell!

From the Archives: Yet Another Public Service Announcement

Attention:

Do not be a seal.

As the images show indicate, seals shall stand no chance against the inevitable onslaught of our Orca overlords. If you want to be a seal, then the Orca have already won.





That is all.

P.S. Mothman is indifferent to the seal, unless seal is looking to bum some change. In which case, Mothman will say: "What you talkin' about, seal. You KNOW Orca's gonna be wanting some change for the bus, and you KNOW what's gonna happen to me if I don't have it." Seal will try to lie, he'll be all: "I am not seal. I am the walrus." Mothman will reply: "Shut up. And goo goo ga get the fuck out of here."

P.P.S. C.H.U.D. may be momentarily amused by the seal. In light of this, some have suggested packing a seal for any lengthy sewer expedition, but this is disastrous advice, as the seal inevitably attracts the attention of the blind albino sewer Orca that swim blindly beneath the city streets of our great metropolitan centers.

So don't pack a seal, don't be a seal, don't even offer one a lift. If you see one, do not make eye contact, go home, paint the scratches on the tank, put the Sarge to bed, and forget this night ever happened (c.f. 1941).

P.P.S. This just in. Apparently, sealions eat penguins. I am not making this up. Holy crap. It's like Thunderdome out there.

From the Archives: Another Public Service Announcement

Warning. Orca is a master of disguise. He is also insidious. So watch
out.

That is all.

Test: Can you spot the orca in this picture?

From the Archives: Addendum to Public Service Announcement

Just in case you were thinking: "But I'm in Wisconsin. Orca can't get me here." Read the fine print on the Orca poster:

"He will hunt that person down . . . ACROSS ALL OBSTACLES."
That includes land.

Orca could, for example, catch a bus. Who's going to tell them they need exact change? Especially if they're zombie-Orca. Also, Mothman is often known to carry change. (Fucking Mothman.)

And keep in mind that, according to the poster, they are "one of the most intelligent creatures IN THE UNIVERSE." That's pretty damn smart. I'm sure those bastards could figure something out.

For example: Orca, also known as "sea wolves," often hunt in packs. As viewers of YouTube already know, they can also leap up onto shore and beat the shit out of seals. And then eat them. And then toss them thirty feet into the air and shit.

So who's to say one one Orca couldn't leap up onto shore, and then have one of his buddies jump up right behind him and push him further along. (The first Orca to make landfall, not the seal.) And then one of their other buddies could quit fucking around with that seal it's been tossing around, and jump up, and push the second Orca further up the beach, thus pushing the first Orca (now known as "Orca Zero") even further up the beach. And so on.

Now, there are about 100,000 of these bastards out there in the ocean, and they grow to about 30 feet, so by my calculations, Orca Zero could make it about 560 miles inland. This would take him past California and well into Nevada. So he hits Vegas with some change he bums off the Mothman (fucking Mothman), wins big on the slots (or just starts eating people till they give him money), and hires a fat ass limousine to take his fat ass to Wisconsin, where he will proceed to HUNT YOU DOWN WITH A RELENTLESS, TERRIBLE VENGEANCE - ACROSS SEAS, ACROSS TIME, ETC.

In the meantime, his buddies in the Orca daisy-chain would proceeed up and down the West Coat interior by means of a steamroller technique (c.f. Bob & Doug McKenzie).

Anyways. Don't get too comfortable, just because you're in Wisconsin.

Just sayin'.

P.S. See the photo below. Would you like to deal with a zombie attached to that? I wouldn't. (Though I suppose it would make the C.H.U.D. think twice. Or once. Them being C.H.U.D. and all.)

From the Archives: Public Service Announcement

(Click on the image to read the text first.)

Watch out for these bastards.

If you see one, do not, under any circumstances, even if it seems like a good idea, harm its mate. Not even for fun. Orca will hunt you down - across seas, sure, across all obstacles, fine, but also ACROSS TIME! You harm its mate today, Orca will kill you YESTERDAY!

On the other hand, at least it's not the Mothman.

Fucking Mothman.

We should all be grateful that they haven't formed an alliance. (Obviously, in such circumstances, the Mothman would use the Orca as some sort of an aircraft carrier which would HUNT YOU DOWN ACROSS TIME.)

That is all.

P.S. "Orca vs. Mothman" would make a fine move. It will serve as a sequel to "Zombie vs. C.H.U.D."
P.P.S. Zombie-Orcas would be really scary.