Top Ten Doctors. Also, Two Minutes to Belgium.

Top Ten Doctors:

10. 7th
9. 8th
8. 6th
7. 3rd
6. 4th
5. 1st
4. 9th
3. 2nd
2. 5th
1. 10th

Right, so that's that done.

And now:



Okay, I'm a dork, but there's a little bit near the end there that does the heart good.

Harmonizin'

From the Archives: Another Public Service Announcement

Warning. Orca is a master of disguise. He is also insidious. So watch
out.

That is all.

Test: Can you spot the orca in this picture?

Pat Novak Says...

"I closed the shop early and I came home to read. Well, it wasn't a bad book, if you ever wanted to start a forest fire. It was one of those historical things, and the girl was just getting her second wind and her third man, when the door to my apartment opened, and the place began to get crowded. From where I sat, the crowd looked good. She sauntered in, moving slowly from side to side like a hundred and eighteen pounds of warm smoke. Her voice was alright, too. Reminded you of a furnace, full of marshmallows."

From Pat Novak for Hire November 24, 1946 - "Go Away, Dixie Gillian"

Cinema Report: "Kansas Is Corny!"

Watched Ralph Bakshi's American Pop this weekend. Haven't seen the whole thing in quite a while.

Not an entirely successful film, full of rotoscoping, stock footage, backgrounds with motionless crowds, some thin sound design, real songs and real voices attributed to ficitonal musicians, and so on.

It's pretty awesome, too, at least at certain points. Such as this one, which is one of my favorite scenes from any movie, ever.

Tony, the latest in the music-tinged family line (which stretches across the 20th century - it's one of those kinds of movies), leaves New York and heads cross-country to California. Along the way, he stops off in Kansas, and falls for a waitress in a roadside diner. After he works a shift as a dishwasher, they head into the cornfields:



There's a genuine sweetness there. And there's a great sense of pace, as the scene picks up speed in a series of starts and stops with Tony's performance (and the rotoscoping does work, in this scene at least, to preserve the performance, Robert Zemeckis take note). Tony surges ahead with rambling enthusiasm, ambition and desire, and then comes to a stop while gazing at her, and then starts up again, all leading to the moment where she quietly takes control of the scene, reduces him to single words, and offers him the fleeting promise of the final line. Really fine, fine stuff.

The rest of the movie doesn't usually hit this level, but there are a few moments, here and there. Might do a little review entry about the film later. I dunno. Is anyone reading this stuff?

From the Archives: Addendum to Public Service Announcement

Just in case you were thinking: "But I'm in Wisconsin. Orca can't get me here." Read the fine print on the Orca poster:

"He will hunt that person down . . . ACROSS ALL OBSTACLES."
That includes land.

Orca could, for example, catch a bus. Who's going to tell them they need exact change? Especially if they're zombie-Orca. Also, Mothman is often known to carry change. (Fucking Mothman.)

And keep in mind that, according to the poster, they are "one of the most intelligent creatures IN THE UNIVERSE." That's pretty damn smart. I'm sure those bastards could figure something out.

For example: Orca, also known as "sea wolves," often hunt in packs. As viewers of YouTube already know, they can also leap up onto shore and beat the shit out of seals. And then eat them. And then toss them thirty feet into the air and shit.

So who's to say one one Orca couldn't leap up onto shore, and then have one of his buddies jump up right behind him and push him further along. (The first Orca to make landfall, not the seal.) And then one of their other buddies could quit fucking around with that seal it's been tossing around, and jump up, and push the second Orca further up the beach, thus pushing the first Orca (now known as "Orca Zero") even further up the beach. And so on.

Now, there are about 100,000 of these bastards out there in the ocean, and they grow to about 30 feet, so by my calculations, Orca Zero could make it about 560 miles inland. This would take him past California and well into Nevada. So he hits Vegas with some change he bums off the Mothman (fucking Mothman), wins big on the slots (or just starts eating people till they give him money), and hires a fat ass limousine to take his fat ass to Wisconsin, where he will proceed to HUNT YOU DOWN WITH A RELENTLESS, TERRIBLE VENGEANCE - ACROSS SEAS, ACROSS TIME, ETC.

In the meantime, his buddies in the Orca daisy-chain would proceeed up and down the West Coat interior by means of a steamroller technique (c.f. Bob & Doug McKenzie).

Anyways. Don't get too comfortable, just because you're in Wisconsin.

Just sayin'.

P.S. See the photo below. Would you like to deal with a zombie attached to that? I wouldn't. (Though I suppose it would make the C.H.U.D. think twice. Or once. Them being C.H.U.D. and all.)

From the Archives: Public Service Announcement

(Click on the image to read the text first.)

Watch out for these bastards.

If you see one, do not, under any circumstances, even if it seems like a good idea, harm its mate. Not even for fun. Orca will hunt you down - across seas, sure, across all obstacles, fine, but also ACROSS TIME! You harm its mate today, Orca will kill you YESTERDAY!

On the other hand, at least it's not the Mothman.

Fucking Mothman.

We should all be grateful that they haven't formed an alliance. (Obviously, in such circumstances, the Mothman would use the Orca as some sort of an aircraft carrier which would HUNT YOU DOWN ACROSS TIME.)

That is all.

P.S. "Orca vs. Mothman" would make a fine move. It will serve as a sequel to "Zombie vs. C.H.U.D."
P.P.S. Zombie-Orcas would be really scary.